鷹击長空

Being Alone

I’ve always been that isolated kid

Far away from the crowd

Never tried to be the center of attention

Never tried to be someone else

Being alone is more a choice than a feeling

It’s a path I’ve chosen to go

Even though sometimes I wonder if I chose it or it chose me

Walking this path all alone

Without following anyone

Occasionally I stop to look behind

But no one’s there

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

Until then I walk alone

Nobody said it’s easy

Sometimes it’s hard indeed

Sometimes I hate my life

But hate everyone else’s more

Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong place,in the wrong time

Like I’m lost

Like I don’t belong here

Like I need to run far away from everything and everyone

But..Can I?

It’s not loneliness that makes this journey hard

But it’s accepting the fact that out of all the people I know

No one ever tried to be with me

Rejection is one of the most painful feelings one can have…

Toothache!

I have a toothache!Second night that I can’t sleep.The pain is killing me O_O.When I woke up yesterday I had this terrible pain in my tooth.I didn’t go to school.I tried to sleep again but the pain wouldn’t let me do it.Even though I don’t usually take medicines I couldn’t stand the pain so I took mesulid(painkiller)but it didn’t do pretty much anything.Then I had a 2 hour evening class.I went but after an hour the pain got worse so I decided to go home.I went to the bus station but the next buss was in half and hour.I didn’t know what to do so I just started walking…and walking….and walking in the city.I was hungry and then I had this BRILLIANT IDEA(because I had a toothache) to eat a crepe with chocolate and banana!!(KILL ME)Even though the pain started again and this time it was much much worse the crepe was DELICIOUS..and I was like

TOTALLY WORTH IT

Anyway I arrived home,couldn’t sleep again.At 4am I took another pill of mesulid didn’t help one more time…then I took a seep of ponstan(painkiller)fail again….Painkillers didn’t work for me.Do you know my actually worked for me?

VODKA

Rinsing my mouth with vodka kills the pain for some minutes,when the pain comes back I just do the same thing again and again..

It’s 7:58 am here.I’m going to the hospital in an hour O_O.Never liked dentists

The funny fact is that a week ago my biology teacher had her wisdom tooth extracted and she couldn’t speak clearly due to the stitches.I had been making jokes about that during the class and guess who’s tooth is aching one week later?

Moral of the story?

NEVER MAKE FUN OF YOUR BIOLOGY TEACHER

New Year….So What?

We humans tend to give meaning to all sort of things,like situations and events,to use them as an opportunity to make ourselves “better”. Just like the way we behave when a New Year comes,we make plans,wishes,as if it is a life-changing event.If we don’t leave our superstitions behind and don’t try to change our life ourselves don’t expect changes.

The new year came…..so?Life goes on just like it did last year.Nothing has changed at all.

Not a single thing…

Goodbye 2011 (+ random stuff)

Well well well,last day of the year huh?(Kind of strange day,I went to sleep at 3am and woke up at 6 am O.o)

Phew..one more year passed by…people around me seem to be happy,having fun,enjoying the festivities..I’m not..During this time period I’ve been only relaxing,surfing on the internet,learning some songs to play on piano,playing Batman Arkham City on PC(awesome game) and other relaxing activities that I like to do.Nothing special.I also try to gain weight.Yesterday I ate :

Morning:cornflakes

Noon: 1 plate of soup,1 plate of macaroni and 1 plate of omelette

Evening: Drank tea with crepe

Night: 2 plates of macaroni again XD

I want to gain at least 5 kilos (11lbs).I can’t imagine myself thicker so I’m curious ^^

As I said,people seem to be happy these days.They post their whole life on facebook so I see their life is so much more exciting than mine.My life compared to theirs is boring.However I wouldn’t change my life for theirs because I don’t like their activities at all.Actually I hate their activities.Don’t know about the rest of the world but in Greece the number 1 activity for a teenager is to go to a cafeteria or a bar with friends,and the number 2 activity is clubbing.I hate both of them.For the first one there’s too much noise in cafeterias and bars that you can’t really talk,they also smoke!so your clothes smell like you smoked a pack of cigarettes.And for the second one (I really hate this one)It’s a place full of stupid people getting rude and dancing like animals in the rhythm of meaningless music which is extremely loud + flashing lights that makes your eyes hurt O_O and they call this fun?Where’s the fun in that!?I find it totally a waste of time.(I’d rather jump off a bridge)

 

Complaining about not having fun but hating to do these”funny” activities,then how am I supposed to have fun?I have no idea.Being an introvert is hard sometimes…I like doing the things I do and some of them are really fun but those people in the clubs seem to be having 99999999^99 times more fun than me.How? @_@

 

2011

Was probably the most intense year of my life.During this year I have learned and experienced many things.Some were good,some were bad…But I can say for sure that I actually “LIVED” this year!So many memories.Most of them from school,I don’t mean memories of us doing stupid things or things like that but unique memories of friendship,it’s hard to explain but last year our class was like a family.We did creative things,we took initiatives and many other things that connected us.Sadly this belongs to the past now and due to the huge amount of homework we don’t have the time to do these things this year.

Anyway

New Year’s Resolution

That’s my New Year’s Res…oh wait…no…just no….

(…)

I don’t care if I loose or gain weight.I don’t care if I save or waste money.I don’t care If I be less or more stressed.I don’t care if I get better or worse grades.I don’t even care if I have more or less enemies.

I just want to

 

 

 

Lost In A Paradise

Millions of people suffer everyday from war,hunger,poverty.4 million newborns worldwide are dying in the first month of life.80% of the world’s population lives on less than $10 a day.Governments are corrupt,money have replaced values.Humanity is going to self-destruct.

Despite these facts there are people who go out and shout “OH WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!!THANK YOU GOD FOR GIVING ME FOOD TO EAT,THANK YOU FOR KEEPING MY FAMILY SAFE,THANK YOU FOR HAVING A GREAT PLAN FOR MY LIFE,THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE DONE FOR THIS PERFECT WORLD”!!!

How BLIND can you be!?To say something like that is very thoughtless,stupid and insulting!Stop looking only at yourselves,your family and friends and look outside the box.Stop praying and do something!

It’s not about God,it’s about us!Forget him for a fucking moment and do something useful.First of all we are citizens of this world, human beings!Leave out all the rest and make this world a better place to live for all of us.There are people out there risking their lives everyday to help poor people.They could live an ordinary life like us but they decided not to.They are heroes.

I don’t believe in any God!I don’t NEED to believe in any God!I don’t claim that we live in a perfect world and that’s because of a loving Supernatural,Superphysical and Super-likely nonexistent being.

Even if there was a God I would punch him in the face! and then I would tell him

“THANK YOU FOR MAKING MILLIONS OF PEOPLE SUFFER EVERYDAY,THANK YOU FOR LETTING INNOCENT PEOPLE DIE AND MURDERS KILL.THANK YOU FOR GIVING LIFE TO BILLIONS OF PEOPLE EVEN IF THE MOST OF THEM ARE LIVING UNDER THE LIMIT OF POVERTY TODAY.NOTHING CAN MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE BECAUSE IT IS ALREADY PERFECT BECAUSE OF YOU.THANK YOU GOD!”

Wars,Ιnjustice,Οppression,Αrrogance,Suffering,Divisions,Racism,Violence,Poverty,Environmental Destruction…

But wait…maybe I’m wrong!!Maybe we do live in a WONDERFUL WORLD!!Is it me?Why do I say these things?Have I lost my way?

We Are The Sum Of Our Memories

“What is a man but the sum of his memories? We are the stories we live! The tales we tell ourselves!”
―Subject 16.

Playing Assassin’s Creed Revelations (by far one of the best games I have ever played) Subject 16 said that to Desmond.

Awesome Scene!

Are we the sum of our memories?….hmm……Are we the stories we live?…hmmmm….Are we the tales we tell ourselves?…HMMMMM…!!!

Think about it…What you are right now is the result of situations you have experienced in your life.Your family,your friends,your social cycle,your belief system,your culture,events in your life etc are the factors that have been forming your personality since the day you were born.Imagine how different you would be if you were born in a different country or if you had been raised by a different family.

Different experiences= Different Effects

But where your life’s experiences are stored?…..right..They are stored in your memory.

We are our Memories.Memory is probably the most important asset of human beings.Without it we would be “nothing”.

But it’s like saying that we are just some kind of “robots”,our whole personality depends on imponderable factors(life events). We just react on those events,even our reactions are dependent upon our past(memory). If this is true it means that we don’t have such a thing as free will.It’s even worse than the concept of fate,because people believing in fate believe that someone or something greater than us controls our life in a good way.In my case there’s no such a thing as “a good way”,it is kind of random,it only depends on your life events.That’s all…..

So…………ok I’m confused now @_@

Aaaah I thought I had it but once again THERE’S NO ABSOLUTE CONCLUSION….

Life vs Me=999999999-0

P.S-Why is it snowing on my blog? lol

A Beautiful Morning

Right now it’s 10 am,I’m sitting in front of my PC,drinking tea,listening to “First breath after coma” by “Explosions in the Sky” and enjoying the beautiful nature outside of my window.It’s been a month since my last “real” post,I say real because I have published 2 posts during the last month but the first one was just a link of a video and the other one was a true and sad story..(hahah)..

I have some ideas of things I want to write about but I’m not in the mood to think at all .I just want to relax and relax and relaxxxx ….sdkjhaklhasfkj

So, is there anything interesting happening in my life right now? hmmm…………..(7 hours and 23 minutes later)……………….. No,I don’t think so,my daily routine is continuing as before.Studying,studying and studying.

Here is a photo of me studying literature  in the bus lol

(taken by cell phone)

I know I know,how could I study if I took this photo,I just wanted to remember that moment of me studying in the bus lol

The only good thing happened to me in the last month is that my digital camera is working again.Here’s the story

Since the September every time I tried to turn on my camera the lens was acting weird lol and after 2-3 seconds

a message appears in the screen “FOCUS ERROR”

But I’m stubborn I don’t give up so easily

I had been trying to make it work by turning it off and then turning it on again like 8234783474532 times

But no result

So I decided to get it fixed

Time:2 pm / My Bus departs in 20 minutes and the shop in which I bought my camera is 1 kilometer away

So….I start running!

Time:2:08 am /I’m outside of the shop

Going inside…

“How can I help you sir?”

“My camera doesn’t work since the September”

“Oooh..What’s the problem?”

“Try to turn it on and you”ll see what I mean”

I’m giving my camera to him…

He presses the button to turn it on…

The lens starts to act weird again…

and……

BOOM!

?

??

???

“Sir I turned it on,now tell what’s the problem?”

“You turned it..what??Give it to me”

I take it and…H@ly Sh1T! It’s working!

I turn it off and then turn it on again

It’s working again!

and he is like O.o

…..

   That’s the story…Crazy right?Now that my camera is working I can take photos of everything again! XD

As I said before the nature is beautiful today,the weather is sunny and I want to go out and take photos but despite the sunny weather it’s so cold outside,so I guess I”ll stay here lol

True and Sad Story

Husband:Honey will you make me a sandwich?

Wife:No

 

:’(

^^

Me and my friend made this short video.

It’s about the world’s obsession with computers.

I Need A Change.

My life is becoming a daily routine.Home-School.School-Home.And then study till the night.Even when I have spare time I’m too tired to do anything creative with it,I just log in to Facebook or play a PC game or watch Youtube videos to relax…nothing special.Losing myself for the sake of my future?…kind of contradicts itself.But I need a change,I don’t know what this change might be but I’m sure I need it.

This is not exactly the change I’m talking about lol

But hey,I miss those times when I used to do bunch of creative things like writing songs,lyrics,scripts,poems,creating and editing pictures.

I miss those summer mornings when I was free of obligations and I could do whatever I wanted to do.

I miss going out and taking photos of the beautiful nature.

I miss watching the sunset.

I miss trying to make sense of life…

I miss those days O_O

Now my life is just a daily routine that I go through everyday.

BUT

(Picture by http://-miss-kitty-.deviantart.com)

And I’m not a robot!……Or am I?…..Are we?……Are we robots of today’s society?                 (hmmm…)